Witty Words of Wisdom

Still on the stuff I dug out of my old bag of books; I also found an old email I'd printed out, which had some really funny one-liners.

The email had been forwarded to me and though I usually delete forwarded mails on the spot, (especially those annoying, threatening ones that instruct you to forward to several other people or risk developing boils in your armpit) this one was quite funny.

I don’t know where the quotes originally came from but here they are:

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you’ve got their shoes.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a flat tyre and a broken fan belt

Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

And my absolute favourite:
Don’t walk behind me, for I may not lead. Don’t walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Don’t walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just f*ck off and leave me alone.