hat Happens hen Your ‘ ’ Doesn’t ork?

Yesterday the ‘w’ key on my keyboard started acting up. I have to press it really really hard for it to work. I didn’t notice the problem at first, until I read what I’d typed and realised it looked eird. I mean weird.

hat the hell is this? I can’t ork ithout a ‘’ I thought.

This is the second keyboard to have a problem; the spacebar on the original keyboard that came with my PC stopped working a few months after I got the system.
When it first happened I carefully cleaned the keyboard. Then cleaned it again. Then gave up and hit it against the desk. Harder. Stillthespacebarwouldn’twork. It was very frustrating and I resorted to using fullstops.between.words.to.make.it.easier.to.read.what.I'd.written.

Then I got a new keyboard and here I am with a hole ne problem. A malfunctioning ‘w.’

Yesterday a friend suggested I get a new keyboard but to me that’s like buying a new pair of shoes just because you’ve lost a shoelace. I’d rather replace only the malfunctioning key. Is there a shop where I can get just a ‘w’? Where individual letters are sold in a pouch like scrabble tiles? Because my ‘f’ is misbehaving as well and if I don’t do something now, I can see that at some point in the uture, my blog entries are going to be totally ucked up!!

(Imagine life without ‘w’. It’s not regarded as an important letter until you start to imagine life without it. You can’t express amazement: “wow!” becomes “o!” I would be described as a oman. Or an oman. omen around the orld ould be ithout a proper name to call themselves. e ould be nameless.)

Speaking of typing, a friend of mine (S, you know yourself) used to use exclamation marks a lot. I would get emails and text messages saying “Hey! Whats up! Been trying to call you! Network is down! Will pick you up at 4!” or “Have you finished editing the copy yet?!”

It used to amuse me on most days but really irritate me on other days like when I was stuck in long meetings at work. (The thought that I was in a small room looking at presentations while someone outside my office was chirpy, happy and free got on my nerves.)

“Why d’you use so many exclamation marks?” I texted back once.

“I don’t know!” he replied “It’s just a habit! Call you later!”

Then one day I emailed him. “Hi! What’s! Up! Almost! Finished! The! Edit! Will! Mail! It! To! You! Soon! Going! Into! A! Meeting! Call! You! Later!!!

It didn’t make any difference; his next text came in peppered with exclamation marks.

But…slowly slowly the exclamation marks disappeared from his messages. Now I get curt messages: “Photo shoot at 4pm. Done with article? Talk later”

What have I done?? Have I stifled his chirpiness? Suffocated his personality? Come back, exclamation marks! I sent him a text saying “want 2 knw wot made u stop usng exclamation marks like b4” No reply yet.

The interesting thing is, now *I've* started using exclamation marks a lot. I can't help it! They just spill out!!

In case you haven’t noticed, this story about exclamation marks has absolutely nothing to do with the problem with my keyboard. It’s just one of those stories you feel you must tell. The moral of the story is: love your friends as they come (exclamation marks and all) and don’t orry hen your ‘w’ doesn’t ork. Life goes on.